Shame on you! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! We’re all so very guilty of saying this to the people that we love the most. People have also said it to us and about us. We start hearing this as early as the age of two. You know, sometimes when people are potty training and the child intentionally goes and hides to poop? We point and say, “you should be ashamed of yourself”. The truth is no one should be ashamed when they do wrong, remorseful maybe, but not ashamed. Shame shouldn’t be the driving force to make a person improve or stop intentionally sinning. A person’s love for Jesus should bring them to repentance and the desire to improve. This entire topic of being ashamed came about when my son and I were talking about him being dishonest. He went through a short phase where he was telling small lies, but they held a lot of weight. I had to explain to him that God sees all, knows all, and hears all. He knows this and he’s aware of sin, but just like old believers in Christ, we had to be reminded. I explained to him that he isn’t bad, but what he did was bad. He needed to know that telling lies could cause a lot of problems for him and others. His dad and I always, always tell him that he needs to tell us the truth no matter how bad it is. We can help him, but only if we know what’s really going on. He needed to know that in his future he is going to mess up and it’s all because he is not perfect. None of us are. That’s why we need Jesus. I walked away and was done with correcting his behavior, but he called me back into his room. He told me he was mad at himself and felt shame. My heart broke. I didn’t even know that my then six year old knew what shame was. In that moment the holy spirit spoke to me and I was able to comfort my remorseful son. He was sorry, he was repentant. He needed to know that he was not a bad child. My son needed to know that Jesus died for him. All of those hurtful, guilty, and shameful feelings that he was experiencing, they weren’t from his actions. They were from Satan.
My son needed to know that shame, guilt, and hurt was all dealt with by Jesus the day he died on the cross for him, me, and you. My son instantly felt relief and decided that lying wasn’t something he wanted to do anymore. Ha! I agreed with him and assured him that was indeed the best decision for him. Sin hurts. It causes so much guilt, shame, and bondage for those that truly love God. Trust me, I know. The holy spirit tugs at our hearts calling us back when we do wrong. It is because of the holy spirit that my son and I are now sensitive to the word shame. We don’t use it anymore. I was so comfortable saying it when watching certain movies or responding to certain situations, that my son started correcting me. Like any bad habit, it took some time for me to change. It takes the holy spirit to remind me of how Jesus set me free from my own guilt and shame. I believe that what hurts just as much as the actual sin is when others won’t allow you to be free from your mistakes. People will place shame, guilt, and condemnation on individuals who mess up. I’m here to tell you to let it go. You are free. Your sins have been settled by the suffering, guilt, and shame that Jesus Christ suffered on the cross. My sweet son and I have agreed that the word shame is bad. We won’t allow it to settle into our minds anymore. Stop allowing people to shame you from your past and the things that Jesus has forgiven you for. Walk in your freedom and tell Satan shame on his musty self for trying you.
Love, Peace, and Joy!